The call to MANHOOD

I still remember these two disturbing stories way back in 2009. For two consecutive days, these stories were the lead stories in PM News- a Lagos based evening newspaper. The stories proved that perhaps hell may have unleashed its demons on women and girls.

No thanks to two depraved men.

“Security guard stabs woman 19 times for refusing sex”, read the first story which appeared on November 26,2008.

While readers were still bemoaning  the fate of the victim of that attack, the next day’s cover story was even more grotesque. “Two men rape 2 year old baby”, streamed the shocking headline.

Not even movies from Hammer House of Horror could boast of such mindless atrocity. Of course, at the centre of each of these crimes are men-boys for whom an entire village rejoiced and celebrated their arrival. See what they have become today-senseless barracudas whose only reason for living is to make life unbearable for women and girls.

Never in the history of man has there been so much question about the real value of the “male” man than in recent times.

Indeed the male man has become a threat to the survival of the earth. From India to South Africa, Angola to Zimbabwe, Somali to Sudan, Kenya to the Democratic Republic of Congo(DRC) and even Nigeria, the male man has consistently remained a threat to peace, economic and political stability.

The most worrisome aspect of this anomaly is that women and girls-the worst victims of men’s frequent trip to mad-land continues to  endure deprivation, abuse and all forms of dehumanising treatment.

The stories from DRC Congo-where there are more rape survivors than those who managed to escape being raped by drug-brained, rampaging soldiers continue to question whether or not the “male” man is a curse or a blessing to humanity. Of course, he is a blessing, when he truly understands the essence of his masculinity.

We need to understand, that women are not guilty for violence committed by men on their body, mind, and even their spirit. We men must accept that violence against women happens because of men’s greater power and the gross misuse of that power. So then when a lecturer feels the best way to demonstrate his power over a female student is by compelling her to have sex with him so she won’t stay on campus longer than necessary it is simply a misuse of power.

A male lecturer reduces himself to a micro organism if all he uses his power to do is to sexually harass female students.
As men, we must deploy our power  well to lift up our women and create a world where they can run, roar if need be, fly and soar like the eagle.

That is what MANHOOD is all about. It’s about redefining masculinity and letting men know that they have failed as men if all they can do is entrench a society that  keep women in fear, bondage and perpetually censored.

It is time for MEN to speak out and stand up against all forms of violence against women.

The brains behind the production and promotion of some brands of beer in Nigeria have been  trying to paint a picture of who the real man is. Some call theirs the Ultimate Man. Another brand prefers the Shine Shine bobo tagline. There is another that tries to personify its brand as smooth, strong and dark.

The perception of men as well as the qualities which these brands try to sell to men (and indeed women) as regards who the real man is are at best mere qualities which any serious minded individual can dismiss as simply weak and hollow.

The true strength of a man lies in his ability to make a woman feel 100 times better, bigger and wiser than she normally is.

Events in recent times, especially news coming in from the Niger Delta and DRC may help any sane mind conclude that a man is most miserable if all he can do is make a woman live in fear and awe of the male man because of his round biceps and broad chest or even “pot belly”.

The ideal MAN  is the one working to stop violence against women. They are saying NO to rape, battery, sexual violation and all forms of abuse of women and girls. Wouldn’t you rather join this league of men?

The silence of good men in the face on going atrocities against women and girls remains one of biggest tragedies of our time. If you are man, you can join us in building safer communities for women and and girls wherever you are in Nigeria. You can do something and the least is to speak up because like Martin Luther King Jnr. once said:  “In the end, we will not remember the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends”.

Please join MANHOOD, get involved, and help today!

  • Donate to support the programs of MSV..
  • Request training for men,fathers in your organization,church/mosque or community.
  • Take a stand on a current issue and express it on your blog, facebook page, twitter handle and BB and whatsapp broadcast.
  • Attend a MANHOOD event
  • Share what we do with colleagues and friends.
  • Volunteer your time and talents with us
  • Read our articles and share with friends and colleagues
  • Create policies in your organisation that protects women against violence

 

For enquiries contact Kingsley Obom-Egbulem on 08053788199 or manhoodng@yahoo.com or kingsley@parentingnow.com.ng

 

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